Claim your FREE Chapter of my Book "Coming Home: The Return to True Self"

Claim your FREE Chapter of my Book "Coming Home: The Return to True Self"

Loving Yourself and Sweet Me

An excerpt from Coming Home: The Return to True Self,  ©2010 Martia Nelson

.     .    .

One variation of self-love is self-compassion. It is your natural state, your birthright.

Self-compassion is a gentle state because it is subtle and quiet, 
and it is a warrior's state because it is powerful for making life changes.

To experience self-compassion, take a moment to close your eyes, and with each of your next three breaths, silently say the following words:  Sweet Me.

Then do it again, this time looking gently for the tiniest, most microscopic sensations of sweetness emanating through you. Sweet Me. Continue doing it for a few more breaths.

When saying Sweet Me, you are not trying to believe or feel that you are a sweet person -- nothing could be more irrelevant, for that would occur in the personality's (ego's) conditional beliefs or emotions.

Rather, you are opening your awareness to the constant, unconditional sweetness that emanates through you always, but which you usually do not notice. That sweetness is always there because it is the love you are made of.

Self-compassion does not have loud bells and whistles
or strong sensations. It is tiny and subtle.

 And it is the most powerful tool for transformation you might ever find. It is so powerful that it can work even when you do not feel it if you just keep opening to it anyway.

Self-compassion occurs whenever you open to the sweetness within you.

When you are worried, close your eyes and let the words Sweet Me fall into you like leaves drifting to the ground. When you are sad, let Sweet Me settle alongside the sadness. When you are hurt, frightened or angry, let Sweet Me emanate through you while you feel that emotion.

Intense emotion unbalances us -- not because there is anything innately unbalancing in the emotion itself but because the emotion occurs in an environment void of self-compassion. Open to the tiniest sweetness within yourself as that emotion occurs, and you will notice a shift toward balance. You will begin to feel safer, calmer, and more alive. Our spirit is made of love and compassion. Sweetness.

When we open to self-compassion by saying Sweet Me,
we open to Spirit, Source, God, true self.

Self-compassion is the compassion of our spirit emanating within us. That compassion is unconditional; we don't have to do anything to deserve it or create it. Our only job is to let ourselves have it.

Without self-compassion we struggle, finding fault and
rejecting ourselves in our efforts to become something better.  

That self-rejection hurts us and keeps us from thriving, intensifying our feeling of being separate from the goodness we seek. As we open to self-compassion, we automatically feel more acceptance of ourselves as we are. We can still choose to make changes in our personality or in the circumstances of our lives, but how we do it makes a difference.

With self-rejection we create changes that keep us chasing well-being.

With self-compassion we create changes that replenish our well-being.

An excerpt from Coming Home: The Return to True Self,  ©2010 Martia Nelson .

  Get your copy of
Coming Home: The Return to True Self




  1. Emily B.

    Just what I needed to read today – thank you!

  2. Tammi

    Such a powerful yet simple and accessible exercise. Such wise words and profound truths. Thank you Martia, your book “Coming Home” changed my life over a decade ago, and is the gift that keeps on giving!

    • Martia Nelson

      Tammi, I’m glad that “Coming Home” is still a treasured resource for you. And I know what you mean about this exercise — it’s one of my all-time my favorites. Sweet you!

  3. Tonda

    After hearing about your book for several years I finally read it! What took me so long? Such wisdom in those pages to aid me on my journey of self discovery! Thank you!

    • Martia Nelson

      Tonda, so glad to hear it — and to be part of your journey. Blessings to you!

  4. Gina Hiatt

    I tried this exercise and it did feel good. What I wonder is, is this aimed at women only? I can’t imagine a man using the word “sweet.” I personally have always rebelled against the word “sweet,” because to me it somehow meant submissive, agreeable, not making waves. I’m not saying this to make waves, just to add to the discussion of the word “sweet.”

  5. Martia Nelson

    Glad the exercise felt good. You raise an interesting point. I have done it with men who had an easy time with the word “sweet” and I’ve done it with women who didn’t. It’s a individual thing. If that word doesn’t ring someone’s chimes I suggest they choose a word or phrase that is more meaning to them and takes them inward easily. Sometimes it’s “love.”

    In this case, sweet is not meant as a personality trait or description of behavior (I’m a bit of a wave-maker myself) but refers to that tiny sweetness we tap into at a soul level when we turn inward. Some experience as a waft of a sweet floral fragrance. I don’t experience that, or physical sensations of sweetness at all. But the term often drops people inward in that direction.

    I’m curious, what is the word or term you would use? (There may be someone reading this who relates to your term better than mine.)

    Thanks so much for starting this discussion!

  6. Sue Paananen

    It’s like a self spa feeling, all wonderfully uplifting. It’s good to know that a spa feeling is only a moment away and it’s in our control to experience.

    • Martia Nelson

      Sue, I like that phrase, “self-spa”!

  7. Christine Alejandro

    What a wonderful respite for the middle of the day. Thank you for your insight into ourselves!

  8. Martia Nelson

    You’re very welcome, Christine. I know what you mean; it is a nice little energy pick-me-up. Enjoy doing it?

  9. George

    My favorite quote is:
    “Self-compassion occurs whenever you open to the sweetness within you.”

    Beautiful article 🙂


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